Navigating the Waves of Grief:

Honoring the Memory of My Beloved Shiba Inu, Miko

The loss of a pet is a deep and personal journey, one that brings forth emotions we often struggle to articulate. Recently, I faced this heart-wrenching reality when my beloved Shiba Inu, Miko, passed away. We were not given much warning at all before she passed away in my arms and with my adult children, holding on to her paws. That such a little furry creature could produce such a flood of tears in me and my children and continue to do so daily is a testament to her legacy. She had been a constant presence in our lives for over 17 years. Miko was not just a pet; she was our companion and best friend – a core part of our family dynamic.

Miko and I spent thousands of hours together just the two of us. If we were not out exploring the parks, wilderness or beaches in the neighborhoods of Southern California, Sweden, the keys of Florida or London, she would usually lie under my desk as I navigated through the challenges of work as a screenwriter in Hollywood and later while studying for my master’s degree in clinical psychology. There, she was always by my side, embodying the calm that her Japanese breed is known for. Miko had this extraordinary ability to create a peaceful atmosphere, seamlessly mingling the roles of a dog-cat and a supportive friend. Later, when I started seeing clients in my private practice, her presence transformed the workspace where I would meet my clients—her gentle demeanor providing an unexpected comfort that allowed me, and my clients, to cultivate a more zen-like vibe. One of my long-term client’s heartfelt reactions to her passing was, “Thank you, Miko, for helping me over the years and blessing the world with your spirit. I will miss you.”

She was not just a dog; she was family. Her adorable face brought us immense joy and intense cute aggression, drawing laughter and comfort from everyone who laid eyes on her. Miko had this way of melting our hearts, so much so that it felt unimaginable to consider a world without her. For my children, especially my youngest son, Miko was a constant, loving presence he can barely remember not having by his side.

Despite Miko’s health beginning to decline—signs of cognitive issues, blindness, and deafness —I was caught in a whirlwind of emotions and denial. Her physical health appeared robust, and the vet, only months ago, told me she was a one-of-a-kind; I held on to the hope that she would surpass the lifespans of her parents, who had lived to be 18 and 19 years old. (Shiba Inu’s have one of the highest life expectancies of any dog breed). My heart couldn’t fathom the idea of losing her, and it’s almost surreal to reflect on my denial regarding her unmistakable signs of aging. Daily strangers would compliment her youthfulness even just a few months before her passing, further fuelling our belief in her immortality.

Yet, as we faced this loss, the reality set in that Miko—this loving, sweet soul with an extraordinary spirit—was not invincible. Her absence has left an enormous void in our lives, one that my children and I are still grappling with. This grief is unlike anything we have ever experienced.

To help us navigate this painful chapter, we created a memorial in our living room, a sacred space that keeps her memory alive. A photo of Miko surrounded by yellow daffodils in Hyde Park, her ashes, paw prints, Buddhist statues, and a flickering candle that we keep lit—a symbol of her enduring spirit. This centerpiece of our home has become a sanctuary, a place where we can feel closer to her presence and reflect on the love she gave us. Even her smell is still around in our home on throws and dog beds, which, at times in great need, brings a lot of comfort.

Reflecting on my childhood, I recall growing up with our family pet, a cat called Cessi. She arrived as a kitten before I was born and lived for 16 years. She was, just like Miko, an integral part of my childhood family. She even slept in my crib and in my pram next to me. You could say she was my furry twin that I grew up with.  Over the years, this privilege of deep connection to animals helped me develop a stronger-than-normal attunement to my own animal instincts and spirit. The feeling of unconditional love and loyalty that both Cessi and Miko bestowed upon me is a bond I will forever cherish. In the wake of Miko’s passing, I am reminded of that enduring love, and I hold on to the memories as pieces of my children’s and my heart forever intertwine with hers.

As I journey through these waves of grief, I remind myself of the precious moments we shared by looking at the thousands of videos and pictures I’ve taken of her and us in the past 17 years —the laughter, the cuddles, the warmth and the love. I am grateful that my children and I were lucky to have Miko in our lives. My daughter even gave her a dozen nicknames over the years and named her record company after her, each a testament to the joy she brought us.

In the midst of sorrow, there’s a profound sense of gratitude each day. Miko’s legacy continues to live within us, manifesting as love and support for one another through this challenging time. While the grief is heavy, the memory of her joy serves as a beacon of light, guiding us as we navigate the path toward healing.

Though Miko is no longer physically with us, our love transcends her absence. I know she will always be a part of our family, a quiet guardian watching over us as we cherish the lessons of unconditional love, kindness, loyalty, spirit, and the deep connections she brought into our lives.